


Surprise!

by Luneth



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, No tigers were harmed, Siberian Tiger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 23:50:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18457160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luneth/pseuds/Luneth
Summary: CA: hey rox wwhat do ya wwant for your wrigglin dayCA: or uh birthdayTG: lolTG: surprise me





	Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> It's 4/13 so have an old thing I made awhile ago!
> 
> Roxy those are not instructions you should give to this poor boy.

CA: hey rox wwhat do ya wwant for your wrigglin day

CA: or uh birthday

TG: lol

TG: surprise me

CA: wwhat

CA: wwhats that supposed to mean

TG: it aint fun if i just tell ya what to get!

TG: the surprise is the best part!

TG: get me somethin you figure ill like

CA: uh

TG: don worry eri were best buds im sure you can figure it out!

CA: well yeah a course

CA: i mean i know the stuff you like

CA: obviously like theres wizards and video games

CA: and science

TG: ye ye!

TG: gtg now ta

 

tispyGnostalgic has gone idle!

 

CA: and cats

CA: but wait which of those should i get ya

CA: come on rox at least help me narrow it down

CA: huh

CA: alright fine i got this

 

000

 

“Don’t worry it’s alive!” Eridan hastily raised both hands in the face of Roxy’s dropped jaw and bulging eyes. “Totally alive, totally fine. Definitely not dead or dying.” He paused, then looked down at the large shape by his foot. “I mean, I’m pretty sure.”

“Eri,” Roxy’s voice was faint, and she very slowly began to sidle off to the wall, where one of her rifles hung, “What, is, that?”

“It’s a Panthera tigris tigris, apparently,” Eridan knelt down by the limp animal he had dragged into Roxy’s lobby, “People call ‘em Siberian tigers, I guess. I checked the internet and it said it’s the biggest cat on your planet. Aside from crossbreeds anyway. Oh don’t worry,” He added as he noticed her proximity to her gun. “She’ll be out of it for a good while longer.”

“That’s a real tiger?!” Roxy yelped, “Like, Like a _wild_ one or, or did you raid a zoo or somethin?” Eridan snorted.

“Rox you told me ages ago anythin in a zoo was off-limits. And like I’d go poking around zoos for those fat human-raised ones. I wanted the best!” He patted the tiger’s head. “This one’s in its prime. Strong, fast, shiny pelt. I tracked it all the way from-”

“Ooohhh Eri…” Roxy covered her mouth with both hands. “Oh nooooo.” Eridan’s hand froze over the tiger’s head and his fins flicked with recognition of her tone.

“I fucked up,” He guessed, “Oh fuck, I really fucked up, didn’t I? What’d I do?”

“Eri, Eri sweetie hon,” Roxy clasped her hands together and bit her lip, “Tigers are like, endangered, ya know?” Eridan answered with a blank look.

“What the fuck does that mean? Like, in danger? Or they **are** danger?”

“In danger,” Roxy explained, “Cause, there aren’t a lot of them left, ya know? So we can’t like go taking them out of their habitat willy nilly.”

“Uhh huh…” Eridan answered slowly. He looked utterly mystified. Roxy couldn’t resist a weak grin.

“I mean, it is _totes_ cool that you found a tiger and brought it here, and she’s _gorgeous_ don’t get me wrong, but I think she should probably stay in like, Siberia so she can go and keep making more lil Siberian kittens.”

“So…” Eridan plopped a hand back on the tiger’s head. “You want me to put her back?”

“Well…” Roxy frowned in thought, then rubbed her chin. A second later her eyes snapped bright in excitement. “Yo, I gotta idea!” Eridan sat up.

“Yeah?”

“Science!”

“Oh!” Eridan plopped his hand into his fist. “We gonna dissect it?”

“No! Crap. Just, follow me.”

 

000

 

“I don’t get it,” Eridan whispered. The two of them sat crouched in the bushes, watching the tiger slowly come back to itself. “We put somethin in its back and now we let it go? Are we gonna find it again?”

“It’s animal tracking.” Roxy whispered back as she fiddled with a small device. “Now we can watch her movements to figure out more about the population.”

“I still don’t get it.” Eridan sat back, “But if this is what you wanna do with yer gift, then fine.”

“It’s a great gift, Eri.” Roxy leaned over to kiss one of his fins. “I can’t believe you tracked her down, and went through the effort to bring her over alive. I know that’s a new part for ya.”

“Yeah well-” Eridan huffed and shrugged. “I mean, it’s a bit harder, but I know better than to go bringin ya **dead** cats. You hate dead cats.”

“Ye please don’t bring me any dead cats thanks.” She bopped him on the shoulder, then got back to her feet. “C’mon. Let’s get home and I’ll show you how this tracking stuff works.”

**Author's Note:**

> Imagine Eridan looking up "largest cat" because that's what I did.
> 
> Eridan has fortunately learned very quickly that Roxy does not like DEAD animals for gifts.


End file.
